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It's amazing what one has to believe to believe in gun control




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It's amazing what one has to believe to
believe in gun control.
by Michael Z. Williamson
daggers@indy.net
That the more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.
That
Washington DC's low
murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to gun control, and Indianapolis'
high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.
That "NYPD Blue" and "Miami Vice" are documentaries.
That an intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if
shot with a .44 Magnum will get angry and kill you.
That firearms in the hands of private citizens are the gravest threat to
world peace, and
China, Pakistan and
Korea can be trusted with nuclear weapons.
That Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be
ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc.
is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms
control summit.
That ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering
butchers, and revert to normal when the weapon is removed.
That the New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice
about guns, just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart
surgery.
That one should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a
civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a
software engineer for computer problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms
expertise.
That the "right of the people peaceably to assemble," the "right of the
people to be secure in their homes," "enumeration's herein of certain
rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,"
"The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively,
and to the people," refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to
keep and bear arms" refers to the states.
That the 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, allows the states to have a
National Guard, created by act of Congress in 1917.
That the National Guard, paid by the federal government, occupying
property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the
federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state
agency.
That private citizens can't have handguns, because they serve no militia
purpose, even though the military has hundreds of thousands of them, and
private citizens can't have assault rifles, because they are military
weapons.
That it is reasonable for California to have a minimum 2 year sentence for
possessing but not using an assault rifle, and reasonable for California
to have a 6 month minimum sentence for raping a female police officer.
That it is reasonable to jail people for carrying but not using guns, but
outrageous to jail people for possessing marijuana.
That minimum sentences violate civil rights, unless it's for possessing a
gun.
That door-to-door searches for drugs are a gross violation of civil rights
and a sign of fascism, but door-to-door searches for guns are a reasonable
solution to the "gun problem."
That the first amendment absolutely allows child pornography and threats
to kill cops, but doesn't apply to manuals on gun repair.
That
Illinois' law that
allows any government official from Governor to dogcatcher to carry a gun
is reasonable, and the law that prohibits any private citizen, even one
with 50 death threats on file and a million-dollar jewelry business, is
reasonable. And it isn't a sign of police stateism.
That free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers,
and typewriters, but self-defense only justifies bare hands.
That gun safety courses in school only encourage kids to commit violence,
but sex education in school doesn't encourage kids to have sex.
That the ready availability of guns today, with only a few government
forms, waiting periods, checks, infringements, ID, and fingerprinting, is
responsible for all the school shootings, compared to the lack of school
shootings in the 1950's and 1960's, which was caused by the awkward
availability of guns at any hardware store, gas station, and by mail
order.
That we must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a
shooting spree at any time and anyone who owns a gun out of fear of such a
lunatic is paranoid.
That there is too much explicit violence featuring guns on TV, and that
cities can sue gun manufacturers because people aren't aware of the
dangers involved with guns.
That the gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids
handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a
"don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.
That the crime rate in
America is decreasing
because of gun control, and the increase in crime requires more gun
control.
That 100 years after its founding, the NRA got into the politics of guns
from purely selfish motives, and 100 years after the Emancipation
Proclamation, the black civil rights movement was founded from purely
noble motives.
That statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control, and
statistics that show increasing murder rates after gun control are "just
statistics."
That we don't need guns against an oppressive government, because the
Constitution has internal safeguards, and we should ban and seize all
guns, therefore violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments of that
Constitution, thereby becoming an oppressive government.
That guns are an ineffective means of self defense for rational adults,
but in the hands of an ignorant criminal become a threat to the fabric of
society.
That guns are so complex to use that special training is necessary to use
them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.
That guns cause crime, which is why there are so many mass slayings at gun
shows.
That guns aren't necessary to national defense, which is why the army only
has 3 million of them.
That banning guns works, which is why
New York, DC, and
Chicago cops need guns.
That the Constitution protects us, so we don't need guns, and can
confiscate them, thereby violating the 5th amendment of that constitution.
That women are just as intelligent and capable as men and a woman with a
gun is "an accident waiting to happen".
That women are just as intelligent and capable as men, and gun makers'
advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."
That a handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical
adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.
That a majority of the population supports gun control, just like a
majority of the population used to support owning slaves.
That one should ignore as idiots politicians who confuse Wicca with
Satanism and exaggerate the gay community as a threat to society, but
listen sagely to politicians who can refer to a self-loading small arm as
a "weapon of mass destruction" and an "assault weapon."
That
Massachusetts is safer
with bans on guns, which is why Teddy Kennedy has machinegun-toting
guards.
That most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns,
which most people will abide by, because they can be trusted.
That a woman raped and strangled with her panties is morally superior to a
woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.
That guns should be banned because of the danger involved, and live
reporting from the battlefield, which can keep the enemy informed of troop
deployments, getting thousands of troops killed and perhaps losing a war,
is a protected act that CANNOT be compromised on.
That the right of online child pornographers to exist cannot be questioned
because it is a constitutionally protected extension of the Bill of
Rights, and the claim that handguns are for self defense is merely an
excuse, and not really protected by the Bill of Rights.
That the ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of
the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of
the Constitution.
That police operate in groups with backup, which is why they need larger
capacity magazines than civilians, who must face criminals alone, and
therefore need less ammunition.
That we should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns
because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.
That guns have no legitimate use, but alcohol does, which is why we issue
cops beer instead of guns.
That police and soldiers are the dregs of society who were unfit to get
any real job, which perfectly qualifies them with the high moral standards
and keen intellects to handle these complicated tools and be our
guardians. madogre.com

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